mount st. helens


has your heart ever beat so hard
and with such purpose
as if either begging for life or trying to end it
that it rattles the inside of your rib cage
and then sends small shock waves through layers of skin and bone and flesh and space
to make your mattress rumble
enough to shake the floor boards holding up your precious home
both body and not
enough to awaken the worms and skeletons deep in the dirt
eternal slumber has no place during a panic attack
that makes itself so strong through word of mouth from skeleton jaw to layer of rock
that a small rattle in your rib cage results in the biggest earthquake known to man
but not plant and animal because we are selfish and assume nothing has happened before our eyes were here to witness
the earth cracks open and swallows you whole and the elderly couple across the street sleep through the whole thing
you try to scream and cry and desperately seek comfort
it’s okay to feel afraid of yourself and the world
it’s okay to need help
so long as you stay as quiet as possible Continue reading