i said to it

and there was painted before me the vast scenes

buildings and the abstraction of trees

and the things before faded softly you could say like the memory of a lover

without judgement

and it was the new place we’d for so long been hearing about

trains still made their sound outside

tho it was clearer we couldn’t see them

and if your balls itched you could be sure it was only because you thought they itched

every day fading
a willful fading and a wash
across digital photographs

you’re dead now and you’re just a doll, but i never

broke into your house and took your precious box like i considered

and when after having admitted earlier to having snooped around you seemed panicked when i mentioned looking in the box but i had an aversion to it so i only just peaked at a photobooth strip of you and your sister and learned you used to have black hair

i could have looked back in there after you told me that was where all of your most important things are, since you were like ‘what did you see??’

but i didn’t do that either

anyway, get the fuck out of my dreams you awful bitch

let me describe the landscape

the ground slightly rolling hills as in a mini-golf course are orange and teal, the sky is fake miami neon pink, and the trees are shades of black, not silhouettes but black

pretty tropical but shiny metal-like

of course it’s impossible to tell where i am precisely because i have this perspective

it’s maddening

probably i shouldn’t say about how i’m sitting at a desk eating a gas station chicken biscuit drinking coffee and a coke

tho the details of life give a texture and a tangible sense

i suppose

anyway it’s not so unusual for me to sit with two beverages

it’s not unusual for me to have as many as three

that’s because my actions are constantly affecting a potion

without this ability to sequence things in the present i am nothing

this is why i like to talk and show you shit on youtube

but mostly it’s happening in thought and on a vibratory level

i just sure as well hope my inner storms aren’t registering

or if so in a glossed over kind of way

like i’m just bewildered at life like an animal never meant to survive in anyone’s climate

but i know the macro-weather’s blowin’ with my heart’s design

and the spot i’m standing in is everywhere

so don’t sweat it dog

it really IS all good

i keep having to remind myself not to think about what’s just happened

or ever happened

or i guess i don’t have to but i am anyway

because i didn’t have a very good time it seems like

if i try i can find the really good shit, which is mostly just generally felt as a deep love i have for my friends, painting my life in a set of hues that makes my life living

i step outside and smoke and pace around in strange ways without thinking about it

wonder what i’m writing

back inside it’s like where was i

oh yeah exercising personal freedom

i’m listening to LA Vampires

which is fucking rad

sometimes when the silence is so deafening i think i’m going to fly apart i suddenly remember about music and that music is an incredible bonding agent

what would i do without a constant stream of information

and the answer is nothing

because i suppose i’d be dead, and even then i’m guessing the information just alters in quality


it’s important that we trust our garbage

bartman versus the great wall of china

what am i looking for all the time

what makes me go

even when i resist going

i know what makes me double back more easily

i think about shaving off all my hair but i’d look fucking sickly

something fun needs to happen

because i can’t stand not to be entertained

Laurie Anderson says learn how to have fun without being entertained

good advice as always

i have not bridled myself

i am however always stripping myself of something

you won’t believe it if i say it but i’m doing the best i can

that’s a bit presumptuous of me i guess

i’m not even sure who you are

people suggest writing to someone you know

rather than just everybody

nobody cares if i do nothing

but i suppose i care

in an ‘it’s time to wake up’ kind of way

i just want to be the coolest motherfucker i can

permission to strut

… just make me over
just make me born again
i wanna live over i want to be born again
just make me over just make me born again

make me over make me over make me over
make me born again …

i’m happiest when i cuss

what i need is an awesome charm

i’m flush out of talismans bro

better change that

better make something bitch

and to think that less than two years ago i checked out a book of theory about medieval conceptions of WORK

ha ha


what a con

produce produce produce

‘that guy must be legit look there’s objects’

my most valuable export is my conversation

so you’re welcome

just look at how much i get away with

yesterday when i was wearing sweatpants i couldn’t stop squeezing my dinger

i felt like a retard and that felt free

we’ll always have Cave Evil
we’ll always have Tabs Out

it’s just words

signs that liberate meaning

for those who’ll understand them

who can doubt that the television speaks directly to them

i feel sorry for anyone for whom that isn’t the case

cuz you’re missin’ out

i definitely don’t know what’s going on

let me take my shoes off

approval is disgusting

the need for approval

too much caffeine

my feet are sweating but i’m also wearing these christmas socks





MY DRIVE UNTITLED document rename

and the way anything where

just put me in the zone

and i’m documented

a numbered documenta


i’ll tell you one thing my box ain’t no pine

a fuck in the brain

nervous grumbling indecision emitters

i don’t want your love anymore


without a sudden sound

a sharp feedback cry peaks out from the sun


a time to listen to all the songs you like and leave off with wrestling

learning how to love dumb

thankful in control


do that alone in a room

that should be easy

the original way-outs


hello you have reached tv o’clock

i’m no fun anymore

please hang up please hang up


i can’t believe what i was

i can’t believe what i’ve just been

maybe the Earth loves me anyway

altho i openly mock her




pass thru me

pass thru me

pass thru me

don’t go using any words on me


if this is for nothing then that’s enough

it has to be

this is a decent one of those



[ autumn 2013 ]