“FROM SAND LIBRARY” by ZACHARY SCOTT HAMILTON

FROM

sand library

Knots in a submarine sculpture because of red microwaves, the blow dryer, a plate of string and bundles of the nerve in my chamomile teeth, (sun kissing moon) Bee propolis dropped along my gum line to pull the infection forward into the feather pictures, loose on the frame, turn a found motor with a bicycle part ~ The best twenty five, saturated into an air that a church bell follows to the city/ Saturated in string, a hockey player skates through the Chinese moderns, weaving nudity to his paper thin maneuvering of locusts, collapsed at the hairdos, entangled in a sculpture of nudity and roller skates, string waves and artifice. Continue reading

“SHRINKING EARTH” by ANON

The earth is shrinking. It’s a strange thought, but it is true. Indicators of this is an increase in high magnitude earthquakes, rising oceans, and rapid earth heating.

Earthquakes

The tectonic plates right now are sliding on top of each other as the earths core gets smaller and smaller, causing very sudden, powerful jolts as they scrape past one another. These currents rushing through the earth cause earthquakes, which are increasing in frequency. Continue reading

“My Name is Luka” by James Nulick

I visited Luka Magnotta in prison. He was incarcerated at the Rivière-des-Prairies Detention Centre in Montreal. Are you a Canadian citizen? No. Are you a reporter? No. Are you American? Yes. What business do you have with Eric Newman? I’m a writer and a technologist, I advised the warden via email. I’m compiling material for a nonfiction work about Magnotta and Mark Twitchell. Ah, yes. Canada’s finest. You Americans really like to stir the pot, as they say? I’m not a reporter, sir. I’m writing a book about the events. I have no interest in portraying your country in a negative fashion. You know our procedures? Warden Tremblay asked. I read them online, I replied via email. You have a passport and cleared bloodprints? I do. I will email you soon. I will wait, I said. Thank you, I said. I did not hear from the warden for three months. Continue reading

“Humpington Plantation: a Satire” by @mcrumps

It was a beautiful day on the plantation and I was swagging in my new designer petticoat, early adorned as per usual and carefully too. It was important, so delicate and promising that I felt there to be a sort of moral imperative, an imperative to the eros of fashion, an eros that the later heat would do nothing to sour. I observed Ellen as she exited the main house after an early breakfast while the dew was still wet on the grasses and drooled at the wetness of her feet from afar. I watched from the windows of the guest house graciously and indefinitely granted to me by Master Humpington, the master and overseer of the expansive Humpington Plantation. Continue reading

THE SELECTED TWEETS OF MELCHIZEKEK

The following are selected tweets of the user Melchizekek, first known as skunk_squats, and secondly as og_nagual. Most are from the heyday of Frogtwitter, Summer of 2016. Melchizekek is notorious for melodramatically deactivating and returning within a three day span, but he has informed us that his most recent departure will be his last. He has performed measures to ensure he cannot access his account again. Continue reading

“KNOCK KNOCK” by qtl

Once upon a time there was an owl sitting on a branch over a purple sunset.  It was so picturesque the owl was afraid he was actually living on the front of a postcard, and indeed he was.  It was a cheap old postcard in the back corner of a dusty shop that had seen better days.

To be precise: the shop had always been a sleepy shop (the kind of business that makes up for low sales volume with even lower margins) but for many years it had been a sleepy shop in a sleepy neighborhood, so the proprietor could make his rent.  But unfortunately an excessive public safety campaign had made such a dent in the muggings and rapes in the sleepy neighborhood that foot traffic had improved and rents had begun to rise. Continue reading

“THE LOWE’S CASHIER” by NICK PANZEKAS

The drizzle was intensifying as I paced uphill and entered the expansive retail outlet where the automatic doors parted for me like I was consumer royalty, where I contemplated briefly the pros and cons of quote-unquote Late Capitalism, where I nodded my head approvingly, where I was thankful I made it before the drizzle became rain, but where I was slightly concerned I’d get drenched on my walk back. Continue reading

HAPPY TO HAVE LEARNED OF HUMAN DIGNITY by Atomus Mann

The proceeding is a letter written to me by an acquaintance whom you may well acknowledge; or, should you please to do so, not acknowledge. But he was an eminent person, Jack knows. Was, not is. Could be once more. We shall see. I quit before this gets tiresome. The world and its seed are needless of another philosophaster, Jack knows. He was–I mentioned eminence. Recently venerated out of personhood into a figure; in China, a specter. I expect that’s 鬼. Continue reading